“Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles nobody knows about.”
Anyone who has a Facebook knows that once you hit your mid 20s most of your news feed is either filled with engagements, weddings, or pregnancy announcements. While I love scrolling through and seeing these milestones in my friends lives, here is why I choose not to post pictures of my growing belly.
My husband and I never really “tried” to get pregnant. I wasn’t tracking cycles or trying to figure out when I was ovulating- instead I left it up to God and figured when He was ready to make me a mom, I would be ready too. Of course, I wasn’t really that patient. It was a good 6 months of not preventing and every time “that time of the month” came, I would be heartbroken. I longed for the day I would take that test and see the “pregnant” result. And, within those 6 months of us not preventing, I swear just about every one of my Facebook friends were announcing they were pregnant, posting pictures of their bellies, or updating their status of how their baby starting kicking.
I truly was happy for all my pregnant friends. But, I was also saddened by the fact that it wasn’t my turn. I had friends who already had older kids and were now carrying their “oopsie” baby, friends who weren’t in relationships, friends who didn’t even want kids, and sadly friends who were giving their babies up. Every post, every status, every picture about babies was heart wrenching. It was a reminder that as others were celebrating new life, I was stuck with an empty womb.
As hard as it was, I knew my time was coming and that my days of an “empty womb” were limited. I knew I’d one day have a baby of my own. However, there are so many women out there who might never get that chance. Who have tried for years, done shots, surgeries, and other procedures but never had good results. Women who have been told that the chances of getting pregnant are 1 in a million.
So, as much as I love my growing belly, as much as I love the little kicks and flutters I feel, as much as I can’t wait to hold this tiny miracle in my arms- I resist sharing “too much” on Facebook because I know how hard it is to scroll through picture after picture of beautiful mommies-to-be and their beautiful babies and cringe that it’s them and not me. I know what it’s like to see someone on their fifth kid and wonder “why can’t I just have one.”
So, just because I don’t post weekly pictures doesn’t mean I’m not excited, it means I’m aware that while this time is exciting for me, there are women out there who long for the experience I’m going through and women who may never get to experience it.